• Johnson & Johnson

    From Sean Dennis@618:618/10 to All on Sat Apr 3 22:27:02 2021
    From: https://tinyurl.com/4k322abk

    Johnson & Johnson Introduces New 3-in-1 Shampoo, Conditioner, Vaccine
    April 1st, 2021 - BabylonBee.com

    NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Johnson & Johnson has introduced a new 3-in-1
    product that contains shampoo, conditioner, and the Johnson & Johnson

    "Now, you can clean, condition, and vaccinate, all with one handly
    bottle," said a Johnson & Johnson representative. "Our product has all
    the vitamins and minerals you need for a healthy head of hair and a
    100% safe and effective vaccine against COVID-19."

    "Plus, it has no more tears!" The Johnson's-branded 3-in-1 shampoo is
    safe for infants through adults, so your whole house can be clean,
    tangle-free, and safe from COVID. Protection may not last forever,
    though, so Johnson & Johnson recommends buying multiple cases of their
    product and using it several times a day, and then ordering more when
    you run out, just to be on the safe side.

    "Yeah, you're gonna have to buy a lot of this stuff we make," said the
    rep. "It's, uh, for science."

    If you buy now, for a limited time, the shampoo will include 30% more
    tracking microchips, a representative confirmed at publishing time.
    ... A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
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    * Origin: Outpost BBS // bbs.outpostbbs.net:10123 (618:618/10)